Not so calm and collective
by Pinviini
Summary: Richard Grayson is struggling to keep the batfamily from falling apart and Jason Todd is easily his biggest concern. It all starts with him patching Todd up and ends up in a roller coaster of emotions that leaves him anxious. [Richard Grayson/Jason Todd]one-sided


**A/N:** Hello!

I'm not going to explain where this takes place and the points you need to know reading this come up in the fic EXCEPT that Jason is 18. Yeah. Just to make this a bit less weird. This was originally graphic and had sex and everything but it's so hard to pull off. I mean they are basically brothers so I felt guilty so I didn't follow through with my original plan, hahha.

I'm not a native speaker and no one has read this through so I'm sorry for all the mistakes. Feel free to point them out if you feel like it! I wrote this in one sitting so the structure might come off weird but hopefully it's not too bad!

Thanks a lot for reading and comments always make my day!

And I feel like I need to say that I'm sorry if I've destroyed these characters. I don't own too many comics that they are in so my take on them might be way off. But I like the idea of These "brothers" fighting and going through shit together.

(Btw I have more of these somewhere on my pc. They all are in the "same universe" so it's kind of the same story but not quite. Just one shots mostly about Richard Grayson fighting with everyone, because of no fucking reason, hahha. Anyone interested to read more of these or...?

* * *

"Give it a rest," Jason Todd groans trying yet again to swat away Grayson's hands but the older persists.

The large living room is dim and beyond the big windows it's raining hard. The yellow light on the stand next to the sofa flickers when outside a tree's branch licks the powerlines.

"Stop squirming. These have to be bandaged and cleaned," Richard answers despite still working seemingly undisturbed by Jason's highly reluctant behaviour towards being helped by him. He puts some disinfect on a cotton pad continuing to wipe the scratches from the bruising skin while Todd - given up - leans back on the pillows Richard had set up on him on the couch earlier.

"I'm afraid your rib might be fractured," Dick thinks out loud making Jason grimace slightly since a case of broken rib usually meant a whole lot of doing absolutely nothing. Although it does hurt as well but that is the least of his worries.

"No need to tell me that," the younger huffs in frustration throwing his muscly arm over his closed eyes. "Alfred knows how to do this without it hurting, you know?"

"Oh, quit your whining, Todd. I don't think your expression as much as flickered when you received this injury," Dick hushes out pressing the tender skin a little harder than necessary at which Jason winces quietly.

"But it didn't hurt back then. Now it does," Todd informs smiling faintly as he can see the other's annoyance through his half-closed eyes.

"That's because unlike Alfred I don't have medical training. I'm trying my best here," Grayson retorts harshly getting annoyed over the fact that he had gotten annoyed by Jason in the first place. That being said, he used a lot of effort to cool himself off by repeating a few mantras he had learned by heart when he had taken over Damian's training after Bruce's disappearance.

"The first part is obvious but the second debatable. Besides Alfred isn't a doctor either but he does just fine," Jason keeps pushing Grayson's buttons and he knows where to push and how hard. It had become somewhat of a hobby to him to get the nowadays "calm and collective" Nightwing fuming. He hates the way Grayson acts all high and mighty when in fact he was no better than Todd himself or Tim or anyone else for that matter.

"Not a doctor per say but he does have medical training – forget it. I'm not having this argument with you," Dick says ending his sentence with a suffocated sigh trying so hard not to give Jason the pleasure he gets from annoying him. Jason, who looks at Richard vaguely from under his arm as he discards the dirty cotton pad before soaking a new one with disinfect.

The older lets his eyes wonder, perhaps a moment too long, the wide muscled torso and the abs glistening with sweat. His eyes memorizing every scar and bruise on the pale skin. He feels something fall in the bottom of his stomach as he can't help but wonder if without Alfred's expertise one of them could've been fatal. Could he had saved Todd?

Although preventing these injuries from happening was his main goal instead of trying to learn to repair him. Each of the scars told a story about one of Jason's slipups he had quite frequently in fights due to his impulsive behaviour. In addition to worrying he also wonders how this is the first time Jason Todd strikes him as a grown man instead of a boy. Without him even noticing Jason had almost outgrown him and if he would continue gaining height as quickly as he did now, would soon outgrow him all together. Maybe it had something to do with Damian's presence that added contrast.

"What are you staring at?"

Grayson is awakened from his thoughts and as a reflex his lips curve into a deflecting smile as he is not willing to admit how sentimental he sometimes gets when around Jason.

"Just thinking about you," he answers cryptically lifting his gaze just in time to see Todd's eyebrows furrow and a small chuckle escape his lips.

"Sit up."

As Todd sits up slowly Grayson grabs the bandage from the first aid kit he has next to him and then settles between the younger's thighs.

"Do you like what you see, Grayson?" Jason grins making the man in question frown slightly before pressing one end of the bandage against Jason's chest.

"Hold that," Grayson asks not paying any mind to what the other had just said. Instead of the bandage Todd places his hand on top of Richard's so that he has to wiggle it free from under the hold before wrapping the cream coloured fabric around Jason's torso a couple of times and then securing it with a pin. He smiles looking at his work pleased that he is finally finished.

"As good as new."

"I'm not an idiot," Todd says suddenly and it almost sound like a continual of a conversation but frankly, Dick has no idea what the younger is on about.

"Is that a fact?" he grins in response making Jason roll his eyes similarly to what Damian does to him every time he tells him to be careful, or brush his teeth or finish his meal or to not to find Ras Al'Ghul and kick his ass and anything along those lines.

"Come on, I've seen the way you look at me," Jason says, and Richard would ask 'what way was that' if the dirtiest grin on Jason's face wouldn't be more than enough to indicate it. It makes Dick instantly want to punch him, hard – to wipe the obnoxious grin away.

But he doesn't. Instead he stands in front of him, frozen on the spot, in the uncomfortable silence and stares at the arrogant expression. The accusation leaves him speechless as never, not even once, has he thought of Todd as anything else than a boy and almost as a brother.

"Cat stole your tongue?" Todd ridiculed him before getting up from the couch somewhat clumsily. "What are you so afraid of?"

"I don't get it. Where is this coming from?" Richard asks more than ready to leave the situation but unable to follow through with his desire to do so. The curiosity of the motive behind Jason's thoughts got the better of him.

"Bruce?" Jason answers his own question and at this point Richard feels like they were having two separate discussions with neither of them having real interest to partake in the other's.

"He's dead, Dick," Jason continues closing the distance between them one step after another, "or maybe Barbara?" He seizes only after he is way too close for Richard's liking and makes it all worse by reaching in to whisper in his ear:

"They would never find out."

Shivers run through Grayson's body making his hair rise. He hates himself for finding something almost arousing in the way Jason's look alone makes him feel so small. But he refuses to act like an idiot. He would think about things rationally to avoid doing anything irreversible.

 _Calm and collective, calm and collective, calm and collective._

 _Be what Bruce wasn_ _'_ _t._

 _Calm and collective, calm and collective, calm and collective._

 _Don_ _'_ _t lose him again._

 _Calm and collective, calm and collective, calm and collective._

"I'm not in the mood for games," he says as soon as he feels comfortable enough to speak. He has heard enough, or in fact, he has heard too much, to be precise. So, with that he pushes Jason further from himself before turning around to indicate the conversation was over.

"You're such a coward, Grayson. You've always been a coward," Jason tells him obviously still trying to rile him up but the older is having none of it. He takes one calm step after the other each step a small victory against all the times he had fought with Jason instead of walking away. But then it happens. The truly unexpected nightmare he had no idea how to defuse.

"Fine. If you're not man enough to say it, I will. Fuck me," Jason says with a hoarse voice.

Richard Grayson stops walking and after a few long seconds of the most awful silence he bursts into laughter. He turns around to face Jason who, much to his dismay, looks dead serious and irritated.

"Are you stupid or deaf? I'm not going to tell you twice," Todd hums in annoyance after waiting patiently for the older to stop laughing. All the amusement left Dick's body as quickly as it had taken over it and he could feel his hands sweating. He isn't calm and collective anymore.

"Wait? Are you serious?" he asks raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms before throwing Jason's last words at him, "tell me?"

Jason doesn't answer at first but instead limps over to Grayson and grabs him by the chest squeezing the shirt's fabric into his fist pulling on it somewhat menacingly. "In this world, if you want something you have to take it."

Richard swallows hard as he has never before felt intimidated by Jason in any way. Jason had always been the kicking and screaming little brother with no real power to match his threats. All bark and no bite but he's not so sure that's the case anymore. Dying did a lot to a person.

"You must've hit your head, Todd."

It takes Richard by surprise how Jason could apparently only care about his injuries when it best suited him. And the brutal force with which the younger smashed his against the nearest wall wasn't inflicted by the injury. Grayson finds it extremely annoying how just five minutes ago the same person had whined nonstop about being cleaned with fucking cotton and now he could suddenly feel no pain anymore. The impact with the wall makes the older huff out most of the air out of his lungs making them deflate uncomfortably. Before he had the time to recover from his shock Jason's thigh pressed firmly against his crotch.

"Do you have to make everything so difficult? Be honest for once. I know you want me, so take me."

"You said you weren't going to tell me twice," Grayson reminds him noticing how lost he is for words. He has no schema to act by in the situation; How he could handle it without destroying their relationship. It sits next to impossible in his mind.

"Shut it," Todd snarls pressing his lips against Grayson's.

 _Calm and collect-_

He doesn't even realize he has flung his fist at Todd before it hits him on his cheekbone making him loose his balance.

 _Calm and fucking collective for fucks sake._

 _No, you can salvage this._

 _Don_ _'_ _t get mad._

 _Apologize._

 _Now._

 _Do it._

This time Grayson sees it coming. He gets out of the way of Jason's fist making it hit the wall behind him.

"Stop it. You're already injured," Dick tries dodging another blow, then another and another.

"Like you'd fucking care," Jason says pausing to throw another punch after each word. He is slow and tired, which gives Grayson the upper hand.

"That's exactly why I patched you up for two hours straight," Richard retorts growing quickly out of patience but luckily not as quickly as Jason runs out of energy and gives up on trying to punch him.

"You know that's not what I mean," he says out of breath.

"I don't get you. I never did. You're impossible to please. I'm done fighting with you," Richard says sighing and lets himself sit on the couch whereas Jason lays himself down on the soft expensive rug in front of it.

"I was just kidding with the sex thing, just so you know. I know you only had eyes for Bruce," Jason says looking at the ceiling and Richard flinches. Jason smiles at this contently.

"Kidding."

Grayson doesn't believe neither of these statements are jokes but he doesn't pass on an opportunity to salvage their fragile friendship. Everything with Jason was like walking on thin ice.

"You know, I wonder how Bruce held this all together," Richard sighs more to himself in order relieve some anxiety left behind by Jason's odd behavior that had made him feel like nothing was right.

"I don't know. Why don't you ask that the next time you suck his balls. Stop trying to be him. It drives me crazy," Todd says.

"You'll never be him," Damian says from the doorway.

"How long have you been there?" Richard asks a little shook noticing the boy in his pyjamas staring at them through tired eyes.

"Long enough to hear about the ball sucking if that's what you're concerned about," Damian replies like it isn't news to him and, to preserve Richard's mental health, luckily cares to elaborate why he speaks of it so nonchalantly, "but don't worry. I know Todd doesn't speak anything but bullshit."

"Shut the fuck up," Todd growls sitting up so quickly it fills his expression with pain.

"Language," Dick says sternly adoring the way Damian looks at Jason so arrogantly with arms crossed and the way how the older is so effortlessly annoyed by the snotty brat. Richard himself is so used to Damian's insults he had even learned that some of them were compliments in disguise.

"Go back to bed, will you? Not everything is meant for your ears," Grayson says and Damian rolls his eyes turning on his heels.

"Whatever. I don't want to hear your boring bullshit anyway."

"Language," the oldest repeats himself making Damian smile a lopsided smile before going back upstairs.

"For once I agree with the brat," Todd says after a moment of silence and gets up.

"And by the way I'm starting to think I have a serious daddy kink because you scolding that devil of a child makes me want to kiss you again", he continues offering a grin but Dick can't get himself to answer it.

More than anything he wants to speak to Alfred, but he would have to wait until he would return from his visit to England. So, he picks up the phone reaching out to the second best thing, which is Barbara. Barbara always knew just what to say to make him feel better or, if not, she knew what to do to get his mind off things.


End file.
